This post comes with a disclaimer: Every person, place and event mentioned in this blog might be fictional, any similarity with real version might be co-incidental .....and every thing you read might be an illusion. mutually created!
:) now with this go on to read.....
I feel like starting with "Once upon a time". But then this is no fairy tale....
Still, long time back in 2000, i joined Tata Motors (then Tata Engineering) as a Management Trainee few days after my Masters in Psychology with an activist bend of mind.
Something was wrong from the start it seemed. And the full realisation is yet to come....
I was not prepared, for a shock of a completely different culture. A professional and engineering cuture.
I never grew up with men and engineers around me and here they were, far too many. A hostel (called Engineer's Hall) full of almost 120 or more young men, beeming with their engineering degrees from best institutions of the country and only 6 young women, out of which only 2 from social science background.
Every one had to adjust it seems some more than others. ( I remember or replay events in my mind...)
Over the time, over the years, most of the 'batch' (almost college like) moved out... some for higher studies and others lured by software industries... And i kept having my own group of friends and may be admirers ... like all other women there (no one can help it in such a scenario....nothing to my credit!!). Well that story some other day.
As the things started settling .... a seeming arrogant stranger offered his friendship and not only we really became very good friends, but I also was initiated into the boys gang (Almost!). I lived those late night ‘addas’ discussing every thing from personal lives to professional dreams, demonstrating planchit (which i never did after that)…. vivid images!
Then... one day, I found presence of a serious misunderstanding between us and the resulting events lead to one of the biggest crisis of my life, which took years….. to resolve.
Only my further training in my field brought some sense of understanding for me...it was a breakdown of 'reality perception and interpretation' on the other person's part ….
Gradually some sense of resolution on an individual basis came. Joint resolution came, a bit later, years later, that too not full, still it came!
But in others' memories, often only the darkness survives.
As they say, Asian cultures have an inherent dialectical ways of interpretation, i too looked at what good came out of it...i was woken up to reality, gained some life long friends having pure, complete faith in me (? soul level connections), learned about mob reactions of people living in close vicinity and ...I learned how society matters less and less many times and how to survive opinion of majority (which sometimes becomes curse in democracy and collectivist cultures).
I survived it all and went on to have my own moments of fame somewhat in the city's cultural life.
Meanwhile, me and my friend moved on in our respective fields, moved away from the common organization, city, country, continent and even started losing touch with common friends. For myself, I had picked up more troubles while walking on my life path. And learned my own lessons intensely.
There is no experience like a first hand trouble :)
After distances of time and space, suddenly yesterday we got in touch after seeing each other in dreams, especially when he is quite unwell. And pat came his explanation, 'past life connections'.
I raise my palm to heaven and say 'I believe'!
...Finding presence of deep connections with another human being is really a humbling experience for me. It suddenly makes me feel how much meaning there is to each event in life and each interaction. As if every thing fits well in the grand architecture of the existence, while we groop with the meaning of the every day happenings and pains.
I have often struggled to keep this view point and save it from the attacks of significant others, who take it as boundary violation of the spheres of concrete or socially constructed reality. While I try, I have not converted many to my point of view…except those who always had that insight waiting to be explored...
This reminds me of the beautiful poem which runs shivers down my spine, every time I read it….I love it, I believe in it and will continue to do so...no matter extra troubles in life :)
'No man is an island' (by John Donne)
No man is an island entire of itself; every man
is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
well as any manner of thy friends or of thine
own were; any man's death diminishes me,
because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom
the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.