Sunday, April 4, 2010

Multiple truths of relationships!

My work as a psychotherapist brings me face to face with people, their inner realities, things which makes them the person they are... i find it sacred to be a part of some one's inner life, their life journeys.
In this context i was wondering about different faces of truth... it is brought out in the context of intimate relationships best.
Its rare that couples, when separating, breaking apart, in conflict... have same perception of reality. Often there is no reality but a subjective sense of hurt, pain, betrayal, crossing over of boundaries... The story of the same break-up, the same relationship, the way one looks at self-other-the whole of relationship is so different...
At times, it seems like stories of two entirely unconnected people.

But then we have to come to terms with it, our lives- as we experience is a lot about our inner going-ons, as much it is about the outside concrete world- which is built of significant people- who again are as much influenced by their inner realities, as much by outside facts, rationally!

So the process is often about understanding ones inner realities, and being aware of how they color the external world, as we see them. And then widening this understanding/ awareness... and bringing that empathy to understand other's worlds!
Well... its a long long journey... of a life time, at times!

In this process a lot of growth takes place... sometimes in a microscopic moment- growth of a life time! I witness at times, those post-traumatic growth!


  1. You know I have always wondered about Counselors and what they undergo while they are taking in the traumatic stories of so many people. I think its quite a task to be emotionally distanced while at the same time you have to be in tune to the person in front of you.

    I appreciate your ability to allow a self awareness through the eyes of the traumatised person.

    Joy and peace,

  2. I see it as an interaction between Being and Becoming of one person with another. My Being and my Becoming are parallel processes themselves. And the other person has them too. So as all these four are entangled with each other, each incident of separation has its own unique dimension.

  3. Thanks Susan... ya its a learned skill, but there are different approaches to it too! Some day we can have a long conversation about it:)

    Pushkaraj, agree quite a lot with what you say.. but that is a higher order ongoing process, and i was talking about here and now kind of everyday realities!