There is something poignantly beautiful about a life which keeps you on its toes. The moment one is acquiring a hardened crust, it comes swooshing and with one tug it removes all these layers, to leave you utterly vulnerable, like a new born baby.
Oh I love it ... would not want to exchange it for anything regular, normal is boring... this gets meditative almost. Mindful of one's pain, there is heightened awareness of love, compassion, beauty around too.
I was missing India, not anything specific, but possibly the resilience, the faith, the meaning assigned to symbols, the everyday life, those small things which brings the glow of divinity in everything.
I remember the mogra flowers smelling on the altars and in hairs, the colorful rangoli design signifying the sacred, the symbolic meaning of boundaries... I was mising something too abstract.
Then I went for earth day celebration and joined a group of women in playing drums in a spiritual circle. There I got what I asked for a few hours earlier. It feels good when we feel that though life challenges us and almost tricks us into a game of 'dare', universe supports lovingly. Its all a divine game 'lila' calling to have fun ... altitude gives perspective!
And then today I was 'almost' softly escorted by moments into a book shop to flip through pages of poetries and non-fiction for hours. There were far too much of good collection... I need to haunt it more often.
(Though I appreciate fiction, but since the time my life started turning into fiction, and friends started commenting they wanna write book on it, I have stopped reading fiction.. .they seem so known ;)
now this feels home, feel like returning back to myself after a long wandering.
Time to start something more creative... on a more large and grand scale...
Free again, time to fly!!!