Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Good intentions...disasters & transformations!

Most of us love to find an easy comfortable zone.  Whenever something or someone pushes us to our highest potential, our first response is to shrink away. It completely unsettles us, irritates us, annoys us...

I hated such times especially with someone I consider my personal mentor. I would often have strong disagreements with him, but on the other hand I dislike letting go of a challenge without attempting to meet it mid-way. So every time in the end I would gather my courage to do what needs to be done, and in the process 'grow'.

A friend recently mentioned that when we show people their highest potential, the best within them, there are two different kinds of responses. Some people will take up the challenge, while others will want to shrink away, and in the process start avoiding us and end the relationship itself. They might even go on to hate us for who we are, and we need to be ready for that too.

Although I believe in doing it gently, slowly, a little more smoothly, even I might push someone when time is short, or they are slow. I do know some people who held it as a grudge against me, sometimes unconsciously, for a very long time. Well, good intentions, but bad strategy! Which still works, probably because of inherent push for growth within people!

It is one of the most amazing gifts of psychotherapy, a privilege, to help our clients grow. It actually feels magical and gets very fulfilling, especially with youngsters. I had such a teenager in my therapy-room today, arrogant and a self-claimed 'narcissist', but having an amazing amount of potential for transformation. I just gave a little push... and am keeping a measured optimism :)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Psychotherapist again!

After such a long break from psychotherapy and counseling, today I saw my first case, and guess what, it was of job stress. I was wondering if I even remember anything of my old tools or even skills.

The guy was obviously in a high stress job. Leading to high levels of hypertension. I wondered for a moment, where is an option to do something about it, when his actual job context is notoriously famous for being high pressure and under staffed.

Inspite of a little bit of language difficulty initially, the picture started getting clearer. This was also a case of inner pressure to perform, learning to meet the conditions attached with love, approval & respect, along with a kind of addiction to the adrenaline rush during the moments of tension. In comparison, the time with wife, kids and family seemed pretty boring. Hmm... Sounds so very familiar! :)
Well, for some people the insight itself is therapeutic, especially when body starts demanding a change. I look forward to the next session.

Meanwhile I sit re-reading one of my favorite books, 'Women who run with the wolves'. Even I need time to de-stress :) 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

spirituality & self control

Interesting reading!

First person subjective research (self observation research)

My gradual interest in Consciousness Studies from Eastern (especially Indian) perspectives, has led me to first-person research methodology. This kind of research is path breaking, growth promoting, and also helps us to become more authentic (For more detail go here). But on the other hand, it doesn't have same confidentiality levels as that of third-person research. I guess we might have to just let go of this issue altogether. I can start it here itself, by not using 'anonymous' as my shield :)