Sunday, November 11, 2012

Why I love my life now :)

As a young child, growing up in a sleepy small town of eastern Uttar Pradesh, I had not seen a single Psychologist in my entire small life. Nor anyone else around me had.
But I don't know how and when I learned about it, and how I got this conviction that 'this' is what I want to be when I grow up. I wanted to be a Psychologist, not even that, I wanted to be an applied one, a psychotherapist. (The one I never had myself ? ;)
Although only years later I learned how to spell it correctly ;)

That was the start of my roller coaster ride...

I read what ever I found related to Psychology with relish. The spiritual organisation with which I and my family got associated later had quite a bit of such literature. (Frankly, I still feel amazed how they wrote such well-researched articles in those internet-less times).

Many years later when it was time for Intermediate (12th std) schooling, we found that none of the schools I knew offered Psychology. My cousin sis advised me to join 'Home Science' stream, since it had some bit of Child Psychology. Well... only a little ... still I joined it.

Then years later, while doing my graduation with honors in Psychology, my Fine Arts teacher encouraged me to become a full time 'Artist' seeing some potential within me. She wondered what will I do by studying Psychology.
By then I had grown a fascination for Military Psychology. I was soon going to get highest military training certificate for college students in India, NCC 'C' certificate. Thankfully, Army selection commission never responded to my first and only application soon after, I think I was under age.
Thankfully nor did I get under the influence of a well-intentioned aunt, who had a similar question about Psychology and my future, and as an answer to it wanted me to become an 'Economist'.

Then I stumbled upon another department of Psychology, a center of excellence in Social Psychology. This deeply ingrained a sense of social perspective within me. It has never left me since then. But even before passing out and getting into social sector, I landed a respectable job in a very prestigious Organisation.
My department faculty was divided if I should join or not. Well, I told one of my favorite teachers, I'm off, but for short. Time for some 'on-the-job-training' in Organisational Psychology.

This organisation's job rotation not only gave me diverse experiences, but also finally landed me into hospital administration of its 'in-house' hospital. Here I slowly managed to get into Psychiatry department, and that opened the path towards Clinical Psychology in the best institute around.

But my journey was not yet over.
M.Phil was followed by Ph.D and Postdoc. Research in Child Psychology, was followed by Promotive mental health, Preventive mental health and again Children and their parents.
Meanwhile I was being groomed slowly but surely by my Dutch mentor for getting into Indian Psychology.

And finally, after such a long detour, I'm into applied Indian Psychology (guess with wide enough perspective).
This is a very new zone, mostly uncharted territory. There are days when I ask, 'Yes I have often felt I am guided, but towards what!'.
Some days I want to run back to a safe, known, comfortable zone. But I'm not giving up... I like being courageous enough to walk all the way, while also feeling that 'fear' in the pit of my stomach... of not knowing what is to come.



And now when it has started coming together I get those moments of exhilaration.
Here I'm teaching modern Psychology on one hand, Counseling skills on another, and Patanjali Yoga Sutras, with my extra hands if you may count please!
Modern Psychology has been outside to inside, while Indian Psychology has been inside to outside. Some of the bridges connecting them are hidden. But they are there, after all its about life, lived experiences & inner growth. Although one goes far deeper than the other...

Now for the first time I feel I have really found the meaning of my life, which I always sensed is just around the corner, but I haven't yet reached that bend.
Suddenly I get many Eureka moments in a week and when I share it in my class there are more of those 'light-bulb' moments for others.

Today I had such a wonderful talk with an Australian student, who herself has a background in Social work & Psychology. I had shared some of the insights in my class, and then more later with her. Given her response it seems this 'bridging the gap' is helping her to validate her own feelings & experiences, as she moves from Western Psychology to Indian/ Yogic one. It also has transformative potential for many more similar minded people, who want to go beyond separately boxing-in modern Psychology and Indian/ Yogic - Psychology/ Philosophy, in their own mind & life.

Wow! so I can't be any more blessed (I won't mind a little more though, dearest Divine ;)
I look forward to my days now, although I'm really busy whole day, and dead tired by night.
I almost teach 'Love' (unconditional positive regard :) in my counseling skills class...
I teach transformative but yet very scientific Yogic Psychology...
I bridge the gap between modern and ancient sciences of mind...
I get to see clients and have privilege to work with them & help them in their moments of difficulties, meanwhile also learning and growing as a person myself...
And I get to help my students in their personal growth.

What more can a human being ask for, from life :)

Thank you Universe for being so guiding and nurturing. Now I forgive thy big cosmic jokes upon me ;)

Signed With Love


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